Friday, March 11, 2011

The Creep of Disinterested Middle Age

A too early morning text message (SMS) from a female friend seemed to suggest that she was playing Cupid.

I read it twice before deciding that she was in fact trying to hook up a "damsel in distress" with none other than the infamous attorney and man of too many religions and psychic delusions, Guru Mooi.

I wrote back while allowing the disappointment of her choice to creep through my intensely tired consciousness as I prepared for yet another day of let down at salary hell.

"Why is this damsel in distress?" I asked.

Moments later the answer appeared inducing a tinge of uncertainty.  The "damsel" apparently only needed legal advice from the Guru of many things (including labour law) and unreconciled striving(s).

"I thought you were trying to play Cupid," I wrote back.

"Oh no I suck at that but she is gorgeous," my friend wrote back.

I sent a facsimile of the interaction to Guru Mooi with a line informing him that Earth Wind and Fire are playing the Coca Cola Dome in Joburg.

It would be a great opportunity for him to get to know the "gorgeous damsel" I thought as I waited for the Guru to respond.

Part of me was excited at the prospect of hooking a fellow forty-too-late-for-change-and-hope like me to someone described by a respected sista as "gorgeous".

The possibilities beckoned.

I mean maybe the "damsel" had a single friend who fit the same description, if even not entirely, and there could be a possible double date in the offing.

I could see me and the Guru with "gorgeous" squared listening to "Got to Get you into my Life" and doing so live!

My cell beeped and I eagerly checked the message for the next step.

"When are Earth, Wind and Fire coming?" the message read.

What the hell hey?  Did the fool just read past the bit about a "gorgeous damsel in distress" and the implied possibilities of squaring said gorgeousness for double the viewing pleasure?

"March 27," I responded.

"Is Philip Bailey and Maurice White going to be on stage or do we get fakes?" the disinterested Guru answered.

I let it go and just shook my head in defeat. 

A "damsel", a "gorgeous damsel" in "distress" nogal, and the Guru did not even feign an interest

When I got to work a final text message appeared from the Guru.

"Jwaks (the constructed term of affection he uses for all 80s Rhodes folks he merely tolerates) Google Earth Wind and Fire and make sure that Philip Bailey is on stage.  If not it would be better to just listen to Karaoke."

I Googled and found out that Philip Bailey is likely to be present.  The rest of the original group are most likely eating tapioca and playing board games in a retirement home somewhere in the Midwest.

Damn.

My enthusiasm has been severely doused.  I'll listen to Earth Wind and Fire's compilation CD on my way back from work today.  And I will definitely not be going to the concert even if Phillip Bailey sent me a free ticket!

Turns out the "damsel" will be calling the Guru for advise over the weekend.

And strangely, I have a taste for tapioca.  Perhaps a prelude to my preparation for that inevitable and fast approaching Boogie Wonderland in the sky.

Onward!

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