Monday, November 8, 2010

"Daddy's Home" (Not)


For professional and personal reasons I never talk about my job when I blog. But just this once I am going to speak in some generalities that won't put me in any professional hot water.

So anyway, brothers, can we talk? Have you ever wondered why it's so hard for some black men to build wealth? I have a theory, and it has to do with some of the things I see everyday on my plantation. Primarily, brothers having children out of wedlock; or children they were not prepared for. In case you didn't notice, kids are expensive. Let's forget, for a minute, the emotional commitment it takes to raise a child. We all know (at least we should) that there is a financial cost as well. A cost that happens to be mandated by law. So if you are a working man with just so much disposable income, bringing a little bundle of joy into the world without staking out your financial future isn't so smart.

I was moved to write about this subject after being punched in the gut with yet another frightening statistic about black children being born out of wedlock: SEVENTY TWO PERCENT! Let's forget about the wedlock part for a minute. Because, frankly, if daddy is at home and mommy and daddy didn't say I do, I don't really care. As long as daddy is home or close by holding it down, it's all good. Now there are a myriad of reasons, I am sure, for the high out of wedlock birth rate. --The article I link gives a few of them. But I submit to you my brothers that we could start bringing these numbers down tomorrow if we would just remember to strap on "jimmy" before we jam.

Having a child before you are ready--- or in a serious commitment with the child's mother, is not cool. If you are court ordered to pay child support (Which you shouldn't be. If the horse already left the barn you should be handling your business.) it will take a big chunk out of your finances, and you will always be behind the financial eight ball. This will leave you with no disposable income to save.

"...The drug epidemic sent disproportionate numbers of black men to prison and crushed the job opportunities for those who served their time. Women do not want to marry men who cannot provide for their families, and welfare laws created a financial incentive for poor mothers to stay single.

If you remove these inequalities, some say, the 72 percent will decrease.

“It’s all connected. The question should be, how has the black family survived at all?” says Maria Kefalas, co-author of “Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage.”

The book is based on interviews with 162 low-income single mothers. One of its conclusions is that these women see motherhood as one of life’s most fulfilling roles, a rare opportunity for love and joy, husband or no husband. "

Sorry mommy, if daddy can't afford to come out of his pocket, maybe you should find fulfillment from a nice hobby.

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