2010 Coonies

I thought I was finished with the Coonies, but some folks here in A-merry-ca are taking cooning to a whole different level. They have redefined cooning and how we, as A-merry-cans, should perceive the coon. Because of this I am going to be sending out some Coonies to some well deserving folks. Oscar has nothing on the Coonie.

Anyway, here they are:

1. Clarence Thomas: Who else did you expect to be first on the list? Uncle C has a shelf full of Coonies. Still, I am handing him this latest one for different reasons. This time he gets one for being complicit while his wife rehashed old wounds by calling his former accuser after 20 years. Throw in the news of his porn addiction which might be cool, (Who am I to judge?) but stuff like this in the news is so undignified for one of the supremes. For the reasons stated above, Uncle C gets another Coonie.

2. Juan Williams: Juan, your ignorant statement about Muslims and subsequent firing by NPR put you front and center in the news. Unfortunately for you, it made us take a whole new look at your body of work. And guess what, Juan? it ain't pretty. (Was O'Reilly patting that Negro on the head?)

3. Thomas Sowell: Oh yes, the wingnuts favorite black intellectual. Sorry, he gets a Coonie. Not because of the way he leans politically or ideologically, but because of the way he tries to justify it. Just remember, Thomas: it's always easier to be loved in A-merry-ca when you turn on your own. They call that courage. I call it cooning.

4. Lloyd Marcus: No explanation needed.

5. Robert Johnson: Black entertainment television could have been so much more. Instead, you sold out for the booty shaking and the laughs. Your Coonie will be heading to your Virginia farm any day now.

6. Artur Davis: This Negro voted no on health care reform. Artur, that kind of jigging gets you a Coonie.

7. James E. Clyburn (D-SC): Many of you won't like this, but some of these dumbocrats can jig with the best of them. Sorry James, I know you think that all bloggers do is complain, but maybe you shouldn't give us so much to complain about. Please put your Coonie where all of the other members of the CBC can see it.

8. Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-Texas): I know that "a mind is a terrible thing to waste", but you shouldn't have hooked up your relatives at the expense of more deserving constituents. Congresswoman, that gets you a Coonie.

9. Michael Steele: Come on now. How could I give out coonies and not get one to my main man, Mike?

10. Walter Williams: "Obama's presidency is due to the goodness of Americans"? Please handle your Coonie with care.

11. Jesse Lee Peterson: "Thank God for slavery"? WTF is wrong with some of you Negroes? I am scared to give you a Coonie. You might put it on your lawn.

Honorable Mention goes out to:

Harold Ford

Larry Elder

O.J. Simpson

Angela McGlowan

Ignorant rappers.

Money hungry preachers

H.K. Edgerton

Alveda King

Stephen Broden. (Thanks Geneva Girl)

Erick Rush

Michael Strahan

Shaquille O'Neal

George Foreman

And every Negro doing s&^% to undermine -and embarrass- their family, their community, and their race.