Monday, September 5, 2011

It's Still Hip 2b Square ... Dammit!

I decided to take a detour through downtown on my way to gym this morning.  I fired up the hatchback and turned on my current fixation with Hall & Oates in defiance and rolled.

Somewhere in the middle of Jones Street, which is the center of Kimberley's CBD, I glanced sideways at the reflection of my car in a department store window as I waited for a light (robot) to change.

Then it hit me.  I'm caught in the f*cking 80s!  My Citi Golf is an 80s design.  Hall & Oates belting out "Adult Education" is so 80s.

And my hair? Slicked back with a sterling silver hoop in my left ear!  So 80s and Wham too.

What the hell happened?  And I am not even stressing about that comment below dissing my 80s sounds :0)

So I started thinking that maybe the 80s was not so bad (revisionism you may scoff).

I spent most of it in the US.  My boys Mark and Flynn and I would take off between semesters at Towson University and hang out in Ocean City chatting up hunnies, or rather trying hard to do so.

It was a time of fluff but it was cool.  Both Mark and Flynn are Jewish brothers and I can't remember us ever talking about a Muslim-Jewish alliance between us.  We just hung out and competed for hunnies.

Ummm ... What?  

I won of course.  Both of them are married.  Suckers.

By the time I was staring at some teenage kid bench pressing twice as much as I can in the gym it occurred to me I have been going through a midlife crisis since the close of the 80s.

I can't remember much from the 90s.  Can you? 

So here I am.  Missing the 80s and fiercely defending my right to be a doos defined by the 80s.

And so yeah ... laugh all you want.  Ummm Tony you betta be having my back here .... so I am gonna say it loud and somewhat proud:

IT"S HIP 2B SQUARE

"I'm working out most everyday and watching what I eat"

Ps: Now why am I having visions of muscle tees, Jordans, my black v8 Pontiac TransAm, and that smokin' Tantric sex woman who looked so good in skin tight Jordache jeans in Baltimore.

1985 Pontiac TransAm
I feel tears welling up.  My life is so much less now ... damn broer I may have to grow my mullet back and pack out my acid wash jeans for consolation ... they probably don't fit ... ahhh damn I hate what the decades since have done to me ;0)

I wonder what that Jordache jeans woman is doing now?

If you reading here by chance ... geez I'm sorry for being such a jackass then and I hope you have forgiven me by now ... for real (ummm if you can still fit into those jeans ... OK I won't be a jackass, again ;0)

I feel somewhat deflated now :(

I live with my moms and blog for fun.  I'm 47 going on 22.  And the word "laid" in my vocabulary is only used in reference to what chickens do ... aaahhh damn!

Ummm ... it's really is not Hip 2B square and living in the 80s

I feel slightly fragile
again.

Onward!

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