The Minister of Transport, Sibusiso Ndebele, wants to reduce the national speed limit on South African roads from 120km/h to 100km/h.
The Minister says that the number of horrific accidents on our roads is unacceptable and thinks lowering the speed limit is the right place to start.
I can't fault him on being just exasperated with the carnage that is a daily part of road life in Rainbow Delusion.
Still, is the Minister even paying attention to all the other mitigating circumstances that make driving here an absolute nightmare (not to mention living here)?
Two weeks ago I announced to my closest that my dream to ride a motorcycle in my hometown was on indefinite hold.
Except for the tooth fairy no-one paid much attention to my aggrieved announcement.
Well my boy Cliff did say: "Ridi riding a motorcycle in South Africa is a death wish. If the taxis don't kill you the potholes will."
His assessment is where I found myself when a taxi decided to drive headlong into my direction to pick up a fare on the opposite side of the roadway. This he did with all the nationalized pride that says "f*ck you we do what we wanna" so get out of my way.
That was just one incident of many many others. We are in serious trouble broer.
South Africa's infrastructure is crumbling as the head idiot plays international fool for all to see. He declares war on Libya alongside YT and then feels a little bad but not bad enough to grab whatever YT was offering then he says that South Africa was not seeking regime change in Libya but yesterday he and the rest of the potbellied and pointy-shoe brigade officially recognized the rogue 'government' in Tripoli.
What's this got to do with the road carnage you may be asking?
Everything dawg. The logic contained in the unthinking above is indelibly post-apartheid South African (il)logic.
Why pay attention to rules and principles? Why be consistent and thoughtful because it is right to do so?
How many of you South Africans have watched fools drive on sidewalks (pavements) to get around a line of cars at a red traffic light (robot)?
How many times have you watched fools overtaking each other at twice the speed limit in residential areas where there are schools and pedestrians everywhere?
Road rules? Who the hell obeys those?
Driving drunk? Hell fools drive and drink at the same time. It is a national pastime. And then you find them at those construction stops on national roads staggering and relieving themselves in full view of everyone.
Don't have a driver's license? No worries chief. Some dumb crooked ass will sell you one at your traffic department.
Don't wanna do that cause you think the big guy upstairs is watching? Well then sit in line and expect to spend the next couple of years trying to get a license the legal way.
When you do get your plastic you have the right to drive on the pock-marked death traps the government call roads.
And just when you think it can't get worse the idiots that run this circus decide to put toll roads everywhere to f*ck with your bottom line even more.
But it is not all about the dumb assess that run this delusion.
The average mentality of just about every f*cking South African must be called into question.
Why the hell are we such a rude and arrogant nation? And why would we run over just about anyone to get just about nowhere?
Last week when the momster, Aunty Mavis, and I went to Game we literally had to dodge speeding cars in the parking lot as we crossed to enter the mall.
Not one f*ck would stop and allow two seventy-plus women to cross over to the sidewalk. And if you thinking yeah they were probably niggaz then check your ass.
White men are among the most arrogant sh*theads on our roads. These idiots have some pent-up anger because they think their daddies gave the country to the idiots who are now in charge.
A second equally arrogant group of sh*theads on our roads are black women of the new dispensation.
Yeah call my ass a racist I am not even sweating the label. I have had countless run-ins with Indian-hair-wearing post-apartheid aunties who think their government subsidized Benz should be the only car on the road.
Last week a heffa of this deluded class pushed me off the road because in our constitution there is clause that says "f*ck you my obese ass needs to get in front of you no matter what".
Then there is the Indian spiked hair crew who roll on blinged out wheels their daddy bought for them when they could not get into medical school.
These b*tches like to do tire burnouts everywhere to vent subconscious dissent against the usual trajectory of ending up working for their daddies and marrying their first cousins.
We a rude and lawless nation. Add arrogant and just plain crude to that formula and you know where to start tinkering with the 'system' that has so many people dying on our roads.
Lowering the speed limit ain't gonna do sh*t but put more money in the coffers of the efficient thievery that run just about everything in this country.
Remember when I wrote about almost being killed by a car that cut across me on a dual carriageway and then hitting a pothole(s) that shattered my hatchback's windshield?
Well dawg you should know that trip from hell was punctuated by a speeding ticket that arrived in the mail two weeks ago. Apparently one of those revenue garnering robots they got up everywhere caught me speeding around the potholes and now the government wants two hundred bucks from me.
Whatever muthaz. I ain't paying your crooked ass sh*t until my taxes are used to improve the quality of roads everywhere and that includes in-front of my damn house.
Maybe the plan to move fourwaaad is to start with a systematic national cull of all the rude idiots on our roads.
Let's get these f*ckers out of the road-using gene pool and then maybe I will think about that motorcycle dream again.
Onward!
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